The first test said my DNA matched that of people from the general subcontinent including India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. Every subsequent update narrows down the geography, first to western India, then to the southwest, now a specific slice of the Malabar Coast, making it clear that from Papa with his afro to Nani with her three wisps of hair, we are actually pure Indian phenotypes. Our almond eyes are not Chinese. Our height is not Dutch. Our curls are not Portuguese.