Silicon Valley Girl -- Stories to Read on the Shuttle
To the Older Gentleman Who Only Wanted an Audience
Okay, I’m sorry for replying to you in such a brusque way, but this sort of thing has become de rigeur for my friends and me.
We have perfected the art of conversation. We have perfected the timing of the “we are just friends” speech. We deliver it to boys and we pry it out of them when we feel it coming so we can retain some sense of empowerment.
We are in bad shape, we girls. When I met you, I was nursing a hurt ego and accepting attention from a gaggle of randoms. I decided to be responsible, thanks to you, had some clarifying conversations, and over the past few months have brought it down to zero. I feel more like myself, so thanks for that.
But you see, I’m so tired. I tried to give you an “in" for this speech so many times. How did you not notice? Don’t you realize why I told you how The Eel sucked the life out of me and hurt me and strung me along for female companionship? I was telling you I can’t take any more of this sort of thing and giving you a chance to let go. Do you remember me saying, a hundred times, that I’m very sensitive? I always sound like I’m kidding so I kind of understand if you missed it. Maybe think about why I’m always joking.
I’m tired of being a female companion and tired of all the guys my age who turn me into an advisor and big sister. I'm just sad that a smart and mature man like you would do this to me also. I’m going to ask you for a favor, because I’m a bit of an activist and want to protect my sisters and help you understand what we are going through.
Be clear with a woman up front—or better, steer clear of day-to-night tete-a-tete. There is no need, unless you have intentions, because we are the most vulnerable of the community and with every year become more and more jaded. We have too many friends. We have gobs of drama. You don’t have time for us. You are very busy with important matters. We are smart and lovely, but we are fluffy and we need men who want to revolve their lives around our fluffiness, can’t live without it.
So that’s that. No need to dwell on this anymore. Thanks for spending some time with me. It was great fun, but I can’t continue it into the future as I am becoming an all-or-nothing sort of creature.